I am overwhelmed with life.  As Ray says, I feel like I am drinking from a fire hose.  I cannot process it all.  Sometimes in the day I can process it, but that usually means I have forgetten I am going through cancer treatment.   I won't say I have cancer anymore-who knows if I do, but in this day and age, you don't mess with 'what ifs'-you give it all you got.  This is some nasty stuff, which calls for nasty right back.  Chemo is just that.  I hate it.

So, I am overwhelmed with how to do everything physically, and handle my life emotionally.  Hell, before this crap I was struggling to handle my life.  But!!  If I look around and really see people, everyone has crap in their life-some you see, but most you don't see.  I am an adult and I have gotten to be 45 years old-yipppeeee!!  My mother lived to be 40. I am overwhelmed-yes, but I am 45 and living each day to the freakin' fullest! I am good!

Beer goggles.  The term used when all things, people, look better with the help of many, many beers.  Put your beer goggles on and your view becomes skewed and your mouth loses it's filter.  I am coining the term "cancer goggles" today!  Same thing-your view is skewed and you have the urge to be snarky.  In any given situation, I am bi-polar: part of me sees it as I always have, then suddenly I flip/flop and see a whole different viewpoint.  Thankfully, not everyone wears cancer goggles-but I do, and unfortunately, when I wake up in the morning after a late night out, I am still wearing mine.